Goodbye, Sweet Prince

It finally happened. On December 13, 2017, Nova, my beloved, sweet black kitty lost his battle with Kidney Disease and I had to make the call.

It was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

I am absolutely still gutted every time I think about him, or one of the many pictures I took of and with him pops up in my Facebook memories.

The pain gets a bit less each day, and I don’t automatically tear up when I talk about him, but it’s still so very hard.

The last few months of his life included multiple vet visits and different treatments, but in the end, no amount of money on a payment plan could save him.

“His bloodwork is not compatible with life.”

I will never forget those words.

Ever.

I will never forget holding him in my arms as he crossed over. I will never forget seeing the light and life slip from his eyes.

I will never forget the headbutts, the ear licks, the incessant need to be in my arms, on my lap, or on my chest snuggling and sleeping. I will never forget how he would always come barreling to the door at full speed when I came home. I will never forget how from day one when I adopted him he just full-on claimed me. I will never forget how he followed me everywhere, especially into the bathroom. I will never forget how he would fall asleep with his tongue sticking out between his fangs. I will never forget the countless hours I walked around with him perched on my shoulders.

I will never forget him.

A lot of people do not understand the emotional and familial bond some people can have with a pet. Nova was my family. He was my teacher. He was my handsome, devilish, mushball everything.

He is missed every single minute of every single day.

His adopted sisfur Gia misses him too. She still saves half her dish of wet food to share with him, even though there is only one dish being put down with half as much food. She has stopped looking for him as much, but she is much needier when it comes to being held and cuddled.

My fiancee misses him too. We are moving in together soon, and even with her cat and my Gia, it will still feel like a part of our little family is missing.

I am grateful that my vet was able to get a quick turnaround on Nova’s cremation so I could have him with me for Christmas. That made it a bit easier emotionally.

I actually had to charge his remaining vet bills in order to be able to take him home with me – something I hadn’t really expected, and honestly cannot afford, but what choice did I have?

If I weren’t unemployed and a full-time student on a stipend, and if I also weren’t paying all of my father’s bills AND trying to save for a wedding, it would be a different story. Right now I feel like I am royally screwed financially, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix it.

A friend suggested that I set up a GoFundMe to take donations for his vet bills months ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had made payment arrangements with the vet instead. I hadn’t realized that if and when the time came, I’d be expected to pay off the whole thing.

So I took my friend’s advice and I have set up a memorial GoFundMe to try to get at least something to help out with paying down that credit card bill so I actually have money to buy gas and groceries with until my fiancee and I move in together and combine bills. It has taken a lot for me to suck up my pride and even do this.

I don’t even know how many people read this anymore, or where you are, but I’m sharing my GoFundMe. I’m not even asking for even half of what the vet bills were in the last few months of Nova’s life, and anything I raise over my goal will be used to (hopefully) create an adoption fee fund at a local no-kill cat shelter or to purchase cat trees, toys and food in Nova’s name for one or more local no-kill cat shelters.

The other thing I want to get out there to all of you dear, lovely readers, is to adopt black cats, older cats, and/or cats with disabilities as they are by and large the last to be adopted. As soon as my heart is healed and I feel ready to accept a new kitty into my life, that is exactly what I intend to do.

If you cannot afford to donate towards my cause, I understand. Please share the link to my GoFundMe instead. Maybe you know a cat lover who would!

Thank you all so much for reading and allowing me to vent to you in this manner.

Nova’s Memorial Fund

~ by tatterednotes on January 29, 2018.

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