Tossing, Turning
Another night of disjointed sleep. Everytime I fell asleep deep enough to dream, I was woken up by my dreams. Sometimes in a panic and sweating, sometimes with a pounding heart and then disappointment.
My dreams have always been so vivid and real…just now I’m not sure what my brain is trying to do to me.
One dream I was stuck in a room that was on fire, and the only way out was through a wall of flame. Woke up as I took my first step through.
Then there are the endless dreams of not being alone. Of having happy moments with someone. Dreaming of being kissed awake. Dreaming of laying in the sun with someone. Of making love. Of getting married. Of just being hugged.
My subconscious mind apparently doesn’t want to make getting used to being single again very easy on me. It likes to make my heart pound with hopeful anticipation, only to feel it be squeezed immediately with disappointment and loneliness.
I have to wonder if other people dream like this, or if it’s just me. I know dreams are supposed to be our mind’s way of working through and releasing things, but beyond walking through fire, I’m not sure what the other’s are supposed to represent.
Dreaming about things I want for my life with all my heart doesn’t seem useful except to cause me to desire those things for myself more and more.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy.
Naked 