Complications…
Getting a text at 1am from the person you’ve wanted to change their mind…made my heart do crazy things. Finding out she was in a bind, then her not letting me help…can’t describe how that made me feel.
Should I have said yes? I said no because I don’t know what it would have meant to her. Maybe I’m an asshole for not giving her what she wanted.
I’m more confused that someone she supposedly didn’t like and who supposedly hated her is now friendly with her and wants to be my friend.
I feel sometimes like I’m so out of the loop I don’t know which way is up and what’s true or real anymore.
I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I know today has been long and emotional and I still want things I have no idea if I’ll ever have.
I just hope she was honest with me and she’s ok. I would never forgive myself if she isn’t and it was because I said no to her request.
I do know my heart hurts with emotion…and I wish it weren’t so.
I wish a lot of things in this life.
Naked 