Naked

…or something like that, right?

I mean, look. I have to admit that living worried (scared?) wasn’t doing shit for me. Not a damn fucking thing. Nor was sitting home every night with just my cats and 50″ TV for company. 

I’ve been doing a LOT of “trigger pulling” lately. Going out alone after work (albeit to regular bars/restaurants with virtually zero chance of meeting another eligible lesbian). Signing up for PoF (not really much happening there…although I did see that this woman I had a date with MANY years ago is STILL using the SAME profile picture – yikes!!!). Buying a new car.

I’m definitely stepping out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve met some new people. Made a really fun new (straight) friend. Accepted that my inherent laziness and lack of desire to do things like crunches and whatnot plus my absolute passion for delicious food and drink means I’m probably always going to be 130 pounds with a bit of a belly – and I’m just going to have to be OK with that…and fuck you if you think my tummy makes me undateable! I’m not going to try to starve myself to try to get dates. I’m 33 and way too old, smart, and amazing for that bullshit. I’d honestly rather be an authentic, but single, human being. Thanks.

Besides, too many people are too busy chasing things anyway. The chase is the draw. The allure. Then once they think the chase is over, they aren’t happy anymore (see a lot of my previous failed relationships). I’m not chasing. I’m just working on being the best possible version of myself I can be each day. I am trying to be the person I want to spend the rest of my life with…

Ultimately, I do have to live with myself and my thoughts untiil I die afterall.

~ by tatterednotes on April 26, 2015.

Posted in Life, Relationships
Tags: 33, car, comfort zone, dating, life, love, POF, self love, self worth, single lesbian, social life