I Will Never Pee Alone Again…
Or poop alone. Or with the door closed. First lesson you learn when you adopt cats is that they are assholes when it comes to privacy. My baby boy has always been super needy since the day I adopted him, but my girl…well, she’s a special case. She’s essentially got multiple personalities. When I first adopted her, she was so sickly that she had to be wrapped up in a towel like a burrito three times a day, every day for almost three months. She never wanted to have ANYTHING to do with any human or with her adopted brother because of it. Unless you were in the bathroom. Then she HAD to be perched on the sink or ledge of the tub staring at you as you did your business. Judging you with her yellow eyes and straight in the air eyelashes.
Don’t even THINK about closing the bathroom door to take a shit or pee or shower in peace and solitude. Both of my kids could be passed out in opposite ends on the apartment, and you can be absolutely stealth, but somehow they will hear you shut the door and then either one or the both of them will be at the door, meowing, crying, and scratching to be let in.
My son isn’t even satisfied with just sitting on the counter or the toilet while you shower either…he needs to nose his way in between the shower curtain and the liner to watch you.
My cats are perverted assholes. You’ve been warned.
Seriously.
Speaking of perversions…Netflix apparently knows something about me that I didn’t realize it did. They have some powerful fucking algorithims when it comes to curating their recommendations. Yesterday morning I loaded up the app on my smart TV and I had a bunch of new ones. One of which was a documentary, “kink”. Now, I have just gotten done having a conversation with a coworker regarding kink and how he had thought that I was already a player on the scene, and when I had told him that I was actually a complete novice, and was woefully unaware of any local scene nor of anyone involved in said scene.
Anyway, the documentary was produced/facilitated by James Franco, and it was all about the folks who work at and with kink.com. It was very well done. It (of course) had copious amounts of both female and male nudity, but they spent quite a lot of time talking about the scene and how they have conversations with the models befor they shoot anything and how everything is centered around the submissive, and how everyone on set is there to ensure that the submissive is in a safe and pleasurable headspace. They also devoted a significant amount of time showing and discussing how important aftercare is after they shoot something, as well as how they won’t film something that they can tell someone is only doing for money.
I was in awe. I’ve read a lot about the community and read quite a lot of fiction regarding different aspects of BDSM play and relationships, but to actually see real life people who are into it talk about the experience – albeit knowing that they allow themselves to be filmed in a somewhat pornographic manner (not all scenes feature sexual contact – that is NOT what BDSM is always or in some cases even primarily about) – was really eye opening. Plus, there were two producers from kink.com that were featured and interviewed that I had actually previously seen on the other side of the camera as performers for Pink & White. Made me feel even better knowing that there were familiar queer faces involved and talking about it in such a respectful manner.
I’m still not sure how exactly I will find myself in a position to explore certain things, but the more I read and the more I see things like this documentary, the more I realize I really need to give myself the opportunity to explore at least certain aspects. There has to be a reason why I have gotten so turned on by a hand on the throat and I love when a woman pushes me hard against the wall and takes control. I have to stop pignoring that and just accepting whatever I get when it comes to woman who are interested in me.
Actually, I need to give myself a hell of a lot more credit in a lot of areas than I have been. I mentioned on Facebook earlier today that I was considering putting myself back on OKCupid to get myself out there more, and people commented very positively. I actually didn’t expect the reactions I got. One person said “U are probably one of the hottest chicks on that shiz” and someone else commented with my name tagged and then “= 1 second on OKC and snatched up. Because she is chock full of awesome”. I’m insanely flattered and blown away by their confidence in me. It’s an amazing feeling knowing that others think so highly of me on a personal level. I’m used to it on a professional level, but it’s a different sort of satisfaction.
Now I just need to figure out how to really sell myself in an online dating profile, because quite frankly, I fucking SUCK at that part! I sort of just wish I could say to people, “Here’s my blog, here’s my IG, here’s my FB, here’s my Snap. Add me, follow me, read. Get to know me. Chat me up. I’m awkward as fuck sometimes, but I’m smart and a really good, really honest person” but that’s not how online dating (or dating in general) works. I’m expected to pimp my ass out like a used car salesman, and I’m not really comfortable with that.
“Come on down! Today we have a 33 year old lesbian who is a Scorpio and an only child with two adopted cats that she treats like they are her children. She works in tech support, just bought a new car, loves loud music, driving fast, reading, and stuffing her face full of delicious food! She really should exercise, but truth be told, she’s lazy and would really rather burn off calories by having sex with her future partner. She considers herself to be a switch, but most people like to pigeonhole her as being a butchy top since she has short hair and wears men’s clothing, but don’t let that fool you! She’s totally looking for someone to take charge and control of her periodically in the sack. So if you think you have the intestinal fortitude, honest heart, and the intellect – dust off your toolbox and take this lady out for a spin!”
Actually…that’s not half bad…show’s off my weird sense of humor at least!!!
Argh! I don’t even know. I need help with dating. Seriously. I need a mentor or a coach. I suck so bad at this part of life. I’m great with people…just struggle with meeting them.
As always, I welcome your comments. No, really. Please. Tell me what you’re thinking.
Naked 