Ronda Rousey, Failure & Perseverance
Failure is always an option. It is the most common and valid option available to the human species.
Anyone who tells you that failure is NOT an option has their head up their ass, respectfully.
Ask ANYONE who is considered successful in any field, and they will tell you that they have experienced failure after failure after failure en route to their success. The secret to success is failure and the ability to persevere and learn from your failures. A failure is a lesson. It’s up to the individual to recognize and value that lesson.
Which brings me to Ms. Rousey. I’ve held off writing about her for months now because of the vehemence in which others have lashed out at her and about her after her loss to Holly Holm on 11.14.15.
I have the utmost respect for both women for the courage and drive they possess to even be willing to get in a cage and fight another human being. The will power to get up every day and train 2, 3, 4 times a day for hours on end to improve one skill by a fraction of a percent. The sheer determination to say no to your favorite food and drink because you know that it will set back your goals by that many more hours or days of training. The desire to keep going when everyone else tells you that you can’t.
Recently, on Ellen, Ronda admitted to having suicidal thoughts after her loss to Holly. People freaked the fuck out, saying she was weak and should not ever be considered a role model. EVERYONE attacked her.
To me, this simple admission gives me more of a reason to admire and respect her as a woman, a human being, and as a competitor. Most professional athletes will never admit to something like that, even though they may have felt it. There are a ton of athletes that seek the help of sports psychologists for a reason.
Admitting feelings of depression and suicide do NOT make you weak. Just as crying doesn’t make you weak either. To me, the ability to admit such things is a sign of strength, and a sign that you have grown on your path to healing to be able to admit such a thing to the whole world.
Very few people know this, but there was a time in my life where I was deeply depressed and suicidal. It was when I was 13 – 14 years old and struggling not only with accepting my sexuality, but also with parents with alcohol and addiction issues. I did actually attempt to take my life once. I took an entire bottle of Tylenol, and drank some Absolut that I had managed to get a hold of. Not only did I not die, but I stayed awake all night listening to music.
This was the night before I was slated to leave for music camp for the first time. That night transformed my life. That night, when I failed to die, I realized that I was stronger than I had ever given myself credit for. The whole next week I was surrounded by people who accepted me for exactly who I was and loved me for it. That week I began to grow into the person I am today.
I sought out help at school the following year. Alateen and spoke with a counselor about my own personal struggle. By the end of the school year I had come out to a handful of people. By the following fall semester I had my first girlfriend and I never looked back.
I hit the lowest point of my young life and persevered. I came out of it stronger. I learned that I could see a positive in EVERY situation and work with it.
If an average kid in suburban America can do this, why can’t a famous athlete? Why do we have to tear down celebrities? Why do we have to try to make ourselves bigger somehow? Why is it that every time there is an opportunity for an intelligent, open conversation about mental health, depression, or suicide, people react this way?
I for one am tired of it. If I have to share my many, MANY failures and my many, MANY lows to help change the conversation and the temperature in the room when it comes to these topics, then I absolutely will.
Naked 