Orlando.
It’s been a week. A week since we suffered another mass casualty shooting. A week since a possibly closeted gay man decided to walk into Pulse night club in Orlando with common high capacity weapons and opened fire. He not only opened fire, he was methodical. He took hostages. He wielded his Sig Sauer MCX as judge, jury and executioner. He targeted a gay club on their Latinx night. He took 49 lives. He wounded 53 others.
His actions are outrageous. No one denies that. His motives have been attributed to supposed ties to ISIS, which were subsequently found false. Many different narratives about him have emerged in the days since, most surrounded by intense, overbearing rhetoric from all sides.
Calls for gun control and outright weapons bans are many and varied, but I personally do not agree with what is being said, purportedly on my behalf as a homosexual American citizen. Then there is the absolutely vile, yet horrifyingly predictable response of Donald Trump. Which to be completely candid, made me physically ill. Let me make this perfectly, painfully FUCKING CLEAR. I was at work and I wanted to vomit all over my desk.
We are all now sadly accustomed to any tragedy being used for political gain, but Pulse and Orlando has taken things to an stunning new low. This needs to be addressed.
Beyond my anger and disgust though, there is just incredible, interminable sadness. Sadness that as a queer individual, I must still fear for my life, simply for existing and breathing. Sadness that because I am attracted to, sleep with and love women, in the United States I am still a viable target for extreme violence and hatred.
I haven’t felt this way since I was 16 and learned about Matthew Shepard. This just deep sense of dread and not even low level fear anymore, but very real fear from the public vitriol and hatred people I know are suddenly not afraid to display. Some Facebook comments I read, “Good, 50 less fags to spread AIDS!”, “Who cares about a bung of sissy queers?”, “That’s what you get for going against God!”.
Really? Really. In 2016, this is the response to a grotesque crime.
I. AM. PISSED.
Then there is the bullshit I am seeing and hearing from the other side. My queer friends railing against gun owners for being “stupid, ignorant, hateful rednecks” and the like. Well, I hate to tell them and tell everyone else, but I am a 34 year old lesbian who votes Democrat and owns guns. What the fuck are you going to do with me now?
Even better, the people who immediately came to me to check if I was OK? Not my queer friends, but my fellow gun owners. What does that say? How do I wrap my head around that one? Where is the sense of community for me?
Banning everything is not the answer. Blaming Islam is not the answer. Hatred and fear are the real culprits. We need to address this. Bottom line.
I have more to say about this, but I still feel overwhelmed. I will definitely write more. This is too heavy to not.
I hope that everyone who reads this takes one thing away from my words; please stop today and tell someone, anyone that you are thinking about them and that you love them. We really never know what is going to happen while we are at work, while we are at the store, or while we are with friends dancing to the thumpa thumpa.
Naked 