Feel The Rain On Your Skin…
How does that saying go? Don’t stress about the storms, learn how to dance in the rain? Yeah…I know I likely just butchered that, but you know what I mean.
I’ve done a lot of introspection and growing…not just over the past few months, but over the past few years. I’m in a place now where I couldn’t have imagined I could have been 5 years ago…shit, even 6 months ago. I am oddly at peace with everything that has happened in my life and lead me to where I stand. I have this incredible sense of rightness and hope that I can’t attribute to anything in particular.
Are there still things that aren’t the way I want them to be? Absolutely! But I am not stressing about them. I just am living my life day by day and doing me. Even on a day like today where I woke up feeling so nauseous I could barely choke down my migraine medication, I still feel light and just serene.
It’s almost like a cosmic, karmic weight has just faded completely away the past few days, and I can’t pinpoint a reason why. I haven’t met anyone new. Haven’t been on any dates. Haven’t gotten a raise or promotion. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened in my life other than just waking up every day with a different outlook.
I wonder if it’s possible that life really does just open up for you at the exact right times? I can remember feeling like this once before, almost two years ago…and well, the things that ensued didn’t exactly end with a happily ever after, but I learned a LOT about myself in the process. Is it possible that I finally had my practice round? Am I prepped and ready for the real thing?
Some will probably not understand this, but I have held off on purchasing a home and really buckling down and saving money towards that goal until I meet her. The one I absolutely will spend the rest of my life with. Getting married and buying a home are two things I only ever want to do once. Call me old fashioned. I’m sure people already think me odd for far less mundane reasons than that…
I don’t look sad anymore. The pain has left my eyes. The laughter and sparkle have returned.
So wherever you are, my future lover, know I’m ready and waiting for you…whole, happy, and continuing to work on myself and on becoming a better person, always.
Until we meet – I hope that you don’t know too much pain.
Naked 
Man have I got a major internet crush on you. I came across your profile on Instagram and then read some of your blog entries. You are quite a catch. Kinda makes me wish I was single really. I envy the woman that you end up with. You are so damn seductive on so many levels.
Hi
You’re sweet. You remind me of Ted from How I met your mother. I hope you’ll find that special lady. I guess we’re all searching for that special woman in our lives. I love that you only wanna buy a house and get married once. Love and loyalty are taken for granted these days.
A tip for the future or present; If it’s broken, fix it, don’t replace it.
Cheers.
For the record, since my ex had someone else immediately after I was broken up with, it wasn’t me who gave up. I know that relationships require an investment and work to continue to flourish and grow.
I’m more than willing to put in work on myself and all of my relationships – professional, platonic and romantic. I fully believe if you aren’t learning and growing continually, then you’re simply occupying space. I never want to be seen as just a place holder.
I’m very well respected in both my professional and platonic relationships. I just haven’t had the best luck in my romantic entanglements. Perhaps because I have been lead by my heart far more than my head – a stark contrast to other aspects of my life.
Don’t you know your queen?